I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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