Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I look better un-naked...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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