She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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