You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
