All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
