youre lurking in front of me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
