Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
