as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
