omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
