So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
then he tried to convert me to islam
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
