Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
