Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
