Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
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beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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