I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
