if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
