Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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