Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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