Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
