HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the condom got lost in my hair
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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