I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
