I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
