dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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