I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
