What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
