I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
