My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
either way he was missing a nipple.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
