My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
