hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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