I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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