My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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