i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
