why didn't you poke me back
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I've blown a few things in my day
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
