he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
