I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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