One girl and one boy is just not enough.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
