Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
