This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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