But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
