All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
