Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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