he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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