absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
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I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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