Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
