ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
