Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
