on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
