The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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