There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
