Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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