i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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