Life is so much better after having sex.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
