We're facebook friends in real life
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
