This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
