I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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