So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
