I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
