I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize