absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
