your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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