The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
