I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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