I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
