Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
