Already got asked if we're dating
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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