I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
