No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
