Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
